remember to play

True Life: I'm Korean

2012-01-17T18:00:00.002+03:00

The Most Recent Annoying Thing Ever:While at lunch at Pizzeria Paradiso (aka, Not As Good As Two Amys) with the fabulous Mary Lacey, our server sparked up quite an annoying conversation with me at the end of lunch.Server: So, I like to play this game with Asian women Me: What? Server: You know, I like to try and guess their ethnicity Me: Hmm. That’s really weird, and kind of inappropriate/racist.

Who Knew Your Armpit Could Be Sore?

2012-01-12T16:21:00.002+03:00

Or: Why I’ve Realized That There Are Too Many Stairs In My LifeOr, OR: Ouch.I joined a CrossFit gym… from my brief time so far, this is how I’d describe CrossFit…Suffering.Or, using every day movements (squatting, jumping, pushing, pulling) at a high intensity (repetitions or rounds) to achieve fitness.(Sounds like suffering to me.)See, I’ve had a roller coaster relationship with fitness. I’ve

Roman Numerals

2011-12-14T18:54:00.004+03:00

Mom: Amy?Me: Yes?Mom: Um...(looks dissapprovingly)... Do you shop at Ext-a-ra Ext-a-ra LARGE Forever?Me: What??Mom: I saw your shopping bag. It says "XXL Forever".Me: .... What?? Show me what you're talking about. Found from Google Images, but this is what the bag looked like...

Bucket List... Revisited

2011-12-06T20:17:00.005+03:00

Remember this post? In the past 3.5 years, I've thought about that list quite a bit. Wondering, "Have I done much of my list?"Ladies and Gentlefellows: I present answers. (SPOILER: I've basically done nothing.) See my updates in (shocking) PINK!Anything I didn't update was either because it was a.) too depressing that I haven't done it yet, or b.) too stupid that I can't believe I ever thought of

Short Tidbits

2011-12-02T17:19:00.002+03:00

As promised:Among The Things You Never Say To A Pregnant WomanMy mom and I were talking with a recently pregnant friend. She’s not sharing her pregnancy (yet!) so I won’t name names, but it is SUPER EXCITING. Some background: the Korean alphabet is an interesting one. The consonant named Reul (ㄹ) romanizes in English to the to the “R” sound and also the “L” sound, depending on where it is placed.

OMG SHE'S POSTING!

2011-12-01T19:02:00.004+03:00

Why, hello there.Let's get rid of the awkward, "OMG I totally promise to post every day" antics.Because I wont. But, after reading some other blogs, and sprinkling a few too long status posts in on my Facebook, I think it's time to start back up again.(I missed you, too.)So what's been going on since March of 2010? WELL, WELL, WELL, let's catch up, shall we? (Note: I did NOT lose my love affair

Wow....6 months!

2010-03-16T22:21:00.002+03:00

I'm totally not motivated to blog at this particular moment, but Jeff, the Verizon Guy, stopped by and gave me the beautiful gift of FiOS, so I'm obliged to post... a short one, at least.I gave up Facebook for Lent (along with my beloved Hot Sauces), and I was planning on blogging... because about one week into it, I was feeling disconnected and stressed that "OMG, the 100 "friends" that I have

I'm So Busy Doing Nothing

2009-09-18T20:05:00.002+03:00

Sorry! I haven't died, or given up on the blog. It's just... I'm busy...doing nothing. I'm spending my days watching Regis and Kelly, shopping and dwindling my savings account, getting Lasiks, and cooking, cooking, cooking. Who woulda thought that doing nothing would take up so much of my time!As soon as I get all this nothing outta my system, I'll be posting more! Until then, read the archives!

Ricdadulous

2009-08-27T00:58:00.004+03:00

I’m totally not a mommy blogger… for obvious reasons.(Thanks for reminding me, MOM. I KNOW, OKAY?) *But boy, do I read mommy blogs... from Kimchi Mamas, Amalah, CityMama, Advice Smackdown, Notes from the Trenches, and Antique Mommy to Mama Nabi, Flexible Dreams, If Ummah is Happy, Rolling Through Looneyville, and Ella Bella, I've got cloth diapering, babywearing, and homemade baby food making

Am I Dreaming?

2009-08-26T20:11:00.003+03:00

This post was a whole lot more heartfelt when my trip was running on schedule. Now? Stuck in Kuwait an extra day, because the plane broke? Mmm. Notsomuch. GET ME HOME!__________No, wait…. Really? I’m really leaving? And, like…. Not coming back? WHAT? NO, I’m NOT ready to go yet! I haven’t said good bye! To, um….whatshisface?! Who fixes our computers? Nick! Yeah, I haven’t said bye to Nick! And…

Lend Me Your Ears

2009-08-25T01:13:00.005+03:00

I wrote this a few days ago, but couldn’t publish it due to OPSEC, media, family, etc. But I did want to capture how I felt—at that. exact. minute. You were here, just six hours ago. You were here last night, laughing and joking. I picked on you for your poor “Army grammar”… I picked on you because you turned some documents in late to me. We laughed and joked. You were just here six hours ago.

Columbia, What Happened?

2009-08-19T12:14:00.002+03:00

I was flipping through the Baltimore Sun... well, actually clicking through BaltimoreSun.com, and looked at the county I used to live in. Here were some of the headlines:"31 Arrested, Drugs Seized at Phish Concert""Columbia Mother Convicted in Stabbing""Gang Member Involved in Oakland Mills Slaying Sentenced in Baltimore""Daughter Gets Jail Term in Columbia Cat Cruelty Case""Reward Offered as

Dear Mr. Congressman

2009-08-13T13:43:00.001+03:00

Or, "Holy Hell Thank Goodness I'm Leaving Here In 11 Days"Dear Mr. Congressman--I don't know who you are... since technically I don't know what state I live in right now. BUT! I thought I'd write you about my time here serving as a civilian working for Department of the Army. We just moved to a different camp, but don't worry, we didn't hire contractors to clean or move our stuff-- we did it

Rants and Raves

2009-08-09T19:04:00.005+03:00

When are these big men, carrying 9mms, dressed in their military uniform going to stop playing with their GI Joes, and actually start working?I'm tired of this. One attribute I can't stand about a person--specifically men-- when they are in a level of leadership, but refuse to act, for fear that they'll have to give the unpopular answer. I hate "Yes Men".I'm surrounded around them. Whenever I ask

Just A Little Closer

2009-08-07T23:24:00.002+03:00

The moving guys are coming tomorrow to take my stuff! So, after tomorrow evening, I'll be disconnected for a while. While I'm not supposed to say the exact time and date of when I'm traveling, I can tell you that I will be grumpy and bitchy once I get there. So you can look forward to that. But you won't hear about it until I get home, because the internet at Camp Victory is $60-$90 a month, and

Volleyball

2009-08-03T22:36:00.002+03:00

Oh the joys of Adult Sports…I played sports throughout high school… I loved it. But, I look back and realize that I took it Way Too Seriously. I realize now that the coaches really don’t care about you, and really? Does it matter whether you got an award at the end of the season? Does it matter whether or not you got in the Columbia Flier? No. Not any more, at least.So now, when I play any sort

Update!

2009-07-31T22:16:00.000+03:00

I’ve been oh-so-bad at updating, I know. But I’ll have a lot more time to update in the upcoming months…Why?Because I've been busy... signing my resignation letter.That's right! I quit. Ahhh.After weighing many aspects, I’ve decided to leave Iraq a few months early and come home* and go to school full time, after taking a few months off to recuperate. It’s scary. I never experienced the Poor

Oh Well...

2009-07-15T22:19:00.002+03:00

I'm here. Along with refamiliarizing myself with the ridiculousity that is the US Army, a few new GREAT, TOTALLY SMART rules have been set in place here will I was gone....Rule #1: No ear phones out doors. Now, I can understand the reasoning for this. You know, so you can hear people calling your name, or the occasional rocket. But they aren't even allowed on the track. So of course, the Army

Meh.

2009-07-12T21:18:00.002+03:00

I'm a few shades darker, several pounds heavier, and my wallet a little lighter. I'm going back to Iraq.Boo.I think I'm going to come back just as bitchy--if not, more--than before I left.

Oh Joy.

2009-06-22T23:03:00.002+03:00

Hurry up! Wait! Hurry up! Wait!Life with the Army.I'm here in Kuwait, awaiting for my flight to the US. The Army seems to like to make you attend ONE 15 minute formation per day, just to tell you, "Be here tomorrow at 0600". It's quite frustrating.I'm on the computer in the MWR... we are only allowed on for 30 minutes at a time, so please pardon a.) to spew of randomly strung words together and b

Pomp and Circumstance

2009-06-20T23:16:00.001+03:00

Horray! I’m going on leave. I’m quite, definitely ready and happy about it. But it’s a little bittersweet, because a few of my very good friends will have redeployed by the time I get back.I’ve recently experienced a new era in my deployment… when your friends who got here the same time/shortly after you arrived, leave and go home. And you are still here. Left in the dust, waving a teary eyed

To Be Determined!

2009-06-17T21:22:00.000+03:00

You can choose the title of this post...After looking at the pictures, should it be...?"WTF AM I BREATHING IN? THIS IS GOING TO MAKE ME BARREN!"or"White Mascara Is Soooo In Right Now"or"Why People Get Ran Over In The IZ"or"The Day I Forgot To Bring My Face Mask"or"Asthma: The New Agent Orange"or"Enough Drama, Let's Get On With The Post, And Um, The Rest Of Our Lives"(just kidding, don't pick the

Nari Nari!

2009-06-13T20:55:00.001+03:00

Something, something, Nari, Nari!!You know you've been in the Middle East too long, when you jam out to this song... on repeat.

Why Did I Get Out Of The Military?

2009-06-09T20:56:00.002+03:00

OHHHH, now I remember. Because of crap like this:(to further add to my Facebook status, for those of you who don't have the joy of being my friend there)Me: [to the tune of:] "Blah, blah, we can't do that, it's illegal, it's not in accordance with the regulations, sorry dude, you can't do that... Nope, you can't do that either. And no. Not even that. No.. not th---"MSG Dippy: Ms. AmyB, how long

Miss Iraq

2009-06-03T23:16:00.000+03:00

For those of you not so lucky to be my friend on Facebook... here, LOOK:I'm so mature. A delicious spread of food!But it was freaking HOT in the restaurant. That would be 33 degrees Celsius, which is 91 degrees Fahrenheit. Mmmm, appetizing.Ohhhh my gosh, we are driving on the 14th of July Bridge !!Tigris RiverTo the left? The Green Zone. To the right? The Red Zone. On the safe side, under the

Iraq Good, US Good

2009-05-31T20:19:00.003+03:00

Saddam Donkey.I'm trying to find a website to upload my pictures on that doesn't take RIDICULOUSLY long to upload.... any ideas? Each picture is like 4MBs and too big to email.

Mojitos

2009-05-30T21:20:00.005+03:00

Mmmm... so I was thinking... what would make R&R better? How can I make the most of it an have a blast? I mean, I'm staying with LNA the whole time, so of course, we'll have fun.Oh... but there is something that would make it more fun.... where every nation: Spanish, Haitian, Indian, Jamaican... black, white, Cuban and Asians are...That's right...Buenvenidos a Miami...

Foot. Mouf.

2009-05-27T21:46:00.003+03:00

Today I was an IDIOT and forgot my camera. I was also an idiot, because I forgot to inform you all that yes! They are celebrating APAH Month here! Only in a secret! non-informative! exclusive! way. When I complained… er… inquired about the lack of sheet-cakiness in the DFAC to the Public Affairs Office, I got a quick and sincerely nice response that they would look into it, and *YES they did

If I Ruled The World:

2009-05-25T20:23:00.002+03:00

(Or, If People Finally Started Realizing That I Really Do Rule The World, I Really Do.) Shampoo and conditioner would come in different sized bottles. A smaller one for shampoo, and a larger one for conditioner. This way, I’d use them both up at the same time. Nothing irks me more than having not-equal shampoo and conditioner in my shower. Both my eyelashes would curl with the same… curliness. My

Wheatgrass Is Amazing

2009-05-23T20:17:00.004+03:00

Really, it is. I think I've slightly talked about it here. (Which, by the way, I launched my FORMAL COMPLAINT that I am ASIAN and I did not see an ASIAN cake. Not even a yellow cake. ba-dum bum!)Now, don't get me wrong, I pride myself of being a total East Coast Suburban Gone Urban Girl. I even got unreasonably offended when a guy here asked me if I was from “Cali” because I had an “Orange County

4383 Hours Down!

2009-05-23T08:09:00.005+03:00

TODAY marks my 6th month in Iraq. As a result:I officially think in terms of Celsius. I no longer look forward to meals, because they always. suck. Mashed potatoes are a completely normal and acceptable side dish for lunch. I consider the "weekend" as Friday through Sunday, of which I only work 26 hours in 3 days. I got tired of doing my own laundry, and now take it advantage of the laundry

Facebook Is Giving Me A Complex

2009-05-22T15:48:00.002+03:00

Blah, blah, blah, Amy complains about not having as cool of a life as her facebook "friends"... makes her have The Crazy, blah blah. We've heard it already. So I put myself of a Facebook Fast, because it just wasn't healthy to hit F5 (that's a shortcut for "refresh", MN) all day long and wonder:a.) Oh, great. Another wedding/baby/drunken album. Alllll things I'm FAILING at right now.b.) Status

Sigh

2009-05-15T23:50:00.002+03:00

I think tonight is the first night I’ve actually been homesick. Extremely homesick. Missing lunch dates with friends… driving… walking down the street… shopping at Target… going out with LNA… randomly calling Amy to stop by… the Columbia Mall… riding the metro… and you KNOW I must be homesick if I miss riding the metro. I miss weekends. I miss Mondays and Tuesdays, because

I Want My Cake

2009-05-05T20:52:00.001+03:00

and I want to eat it too.(thank you, Marah, for reminding me of the laundry basket... I had to remind myself of that memory ALOT today, to get through the day.)So, today I'm a little pissy for different reasons. (Um... I totally just typed "differen't". HALP, it's stupidity by OSMOSIS.) My friend, LCDR and I were at my desk, and I was sharing some wheatgrass with her, and just chatting about

UMMMM

2009-05-04T23:05:00.003+03:00

Today I totally feel like throwing in the towel and quitting.At least 4 times a week, someone says to me, "Oh, but it's so nice for you, because you can leave whenever you want, right?!"Um, no.Because when people make me mad, are stupid, throw work on me that they should do, DON'T UNDERSTAND MS EXCEL, ask me to do them a favor and DON'T RESPOND to my email when I do it for them, etc, etc, etc, it

OMG She's Posting Pictures

2009-04-29T21:14:00.001+03:00

Yayyyy for my new camera. Yayyy that it's pink! Yayyy--... okay, the pictures finally uploaded. And, I bore you with a nature photo. But look! The resolution!! It's like you're HERE. Amazing.Oh, and this Sawing Shop... where I can get Paches made. And I bet you don't even have to write it down for them EITHER. I heart this sign. It really makes my morning!And Baghdad at night. It really does

Ladies and Gentlemen:

2009-04-20T20:31:00.000+03:00

I present to you....THE GIFT OF INTERNET CAPABILITY!!! Albeit SLOW, but CONNECTED. I'm totally in the 21st century now. (thank you, sweet 8 pound, 6 ounce baby jesus, in your golden fleece diapers...)What this means for you:More blog posts... I know, I know... you want to thank Tiny, Infant Jesus too. You can now stop waiting at bated breath for my posts. What this means for me:YOU TUUUUUUBE.

YEEEEOWZAHHH

2009-04-14T08:58:00.002+03:00

Getting your eyeliner tattooed on must be like childbirth. If you remembered what the pain felt like, you would never do it again.Owwwww. Frozen peas... where art thou?Highlight of the day? The tattoo lady told me, "You're eyes are so BIG!! I have so much room to work with!"It's all relative, I guess. It makes up for the 15 times that the street vendors said, "Konnichiwa!" or "Ni hao!" because

Sorry, Guys

2009-04-14T03:47:00.002+03:00

I planned on writing Long Over Due, Big Funny Posts while I was on my R&R, but you see... I have my priorities. I've been busy shopping and buying way too many cute hair pins, walking around Myeongdong, eating bbobki, one of the most delicious old fashioned candies in Korea,buying stuff for my sister, eating way, way, way too much, and guilting my mom into doing my laundry for me. (It's amazing..

I'm Kinda A Big Deal

2009-03-17T15:48:00.000+03:00

When I saw this picture, I thought: OH MY GOSH, I'M FAMOUS Then, I thought: MY MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME BECAUSE IT'S A PICTURE OF ME DRINKING! Then, I thought: UMMMMMM, whereintheworlddidthispicturecomefrom?? THEN, THEN, I snapped the hell back into reality when Bert was snickering at the desk next to me. THEN, THEN, THEEEEEN, I ran over and punched him when I saw this: And thennnnn, I became

Give Me Up For Lent?

2009-02-27T16:47:00.003+03:00

Well… the lovely IT folks here have blocked blogspot and all blogs here at work. Because OBVIOUSLY they haven’t read my disclaimer… So, this means that I can’t blog as often as I have been… no, it doesn’t mean that my blog with RIP, but it does mean that I will not blog a lot, because I have to search for a shotty internet connection.This ALSO means that if your blog isn’t linked through a feeder

He Was Only One Day Off...

2009-02-23T09:01:00.002+03:00

My dad is a wise guy. Those readers who are long time friends of Amy When She Was An Evil Teenager might scoff at this statement… because they know how my relationship was with my father when I was younger. But I’ve grown up, and gotten over myself, and now I really do see that my dad is wise. He told me years ago that in the end, “You are defined by the books you read and the people you surround

I Won't Even Post The Picture Here...

2009-02-22T15:22:00.002+03:00

Because as a Catholic, as a Christian, and as a republican, I am disgusted.But I don't doubt that Rev. Wright probably has quite a few in his house...

Maybe It's Just Me...

2009-02-22T09:20:00.002+03:00

But abbrv evry sngle wrd in a email is really obnxs.FOR REAL.If I get one more email that says:"Pls rev for edits. Let me know if you've already rec'd this." I AM GOING TO SCREAM.That is all.

Yet Another Reason I Love Bert

2009-02-18T07:00:00.003+03:00

Bert's talking to a female at his desk. She leaves.He turns to me, very seriously, and says: "Amy. I really think some people don't have mirrors in their house. They think they are so pretty, but if they had a mirror, they would know."

This Place...

2009-02-17T11:16:00.001+03:00

Is obviously not helping The Crazy.Photo courtesy: Ernie, my personal PaparazziObviously.

Money, Cash. Money, Cash, Taxes.

2009-02-16T10:40:00.001+03:00

So, people said, "When you go to Iraq, you're going to make more money. You'll be pushed into a different tax bracket! Be careful! You don't own a house or are married or have babies YOU LOSER, so you're going to pay the maximum amount!What did I say? "HA! Pish posh! Make too much money? Ha! Monies iz gud. Monies buyz pritty shoos for mai foots. Monies buyz Chipotle and Panera. NOM NOM NOM."Then?

Validate Me, Internet!

2009-02-15T09:25:00.003+03:00

I've created a little gadget on the side of past "favorite" posts. And, for some reason, I kept clicking the little evil RED X in the right hand corner instead of hitting SAVE, so I finally gave up and just threw a few posts in there.Any suggestions? Comment, leaving your favorite blog post, and I'll add it to the list.Oh, and you can totally tell me how pretty I am and how pretty my hair is too,

I Don't Think THIS Is What They Mean By "Catholic Lite"

2009-02-14T07:37:00.000+03:00

In my fight for Love Action 2009, I’ve been feeling a twee bit small. I’m feeling unworthy because I mess up so much, and although I’m trying to working on getting better at quieting my mouth, I’m not so good at quieting my brain. I still think the mean things, but I just don’t say them as loudly as often.But then today, I watched a documentary on St Paul. Paul, who while he was Saul, persecuted

Anam Cara

2009-02-13T13:26:00.003+03:00

Or...Soul Friends.While sitting on a Duck and Cover outside my CHU:V: [sniff, sniff] Um... Did you fart??Me: NO!V: Um...did you take your shoe off?Me: Oh. Um... yeeees.Another time:V: He's cute. But his face could be cuter.Me: Well... so could YOURS!It's funny how close you get with people here.

Commence: Love Action 2009

2009-02-12T17:17:00.003+03:00

Sooooo, I think it's pretty obvious that I'm a sarcastic person. And a little bitter. And sometimes while I'm talking to someone I don't like... I'm screaming "HATE! HATE!" in my head.OTHER than the fact that I'm scared that one day my internal monologue will elude me, and I'll actually start screaming "HATE! HATE! SHUTTHEHELLUP! HATE!", I need to work on LOVE.Loving people. Even people I don't

The Democrats Have Taken Over My Computer!!

2009-02-12T11:10:00.003+03:00

While typing to my friend V, "Can I have my brush baaaaack?", spell check flagged the word "baaaack". (because I like to be dramaaaatic and drawwww out the words that I whiiiine.)What did it suggest to correct to word to?That's right. Barack.HALP, the Democrats are taking over the woooooorld.

A Perez Hilton-esque Post

2009-02-11T17:38:00.013+03:00

As if you weren't dumb enough... Unedited picture borrowed from hereMiley. SHUT UP. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP.Unedited picture borrowed from here.Really. Or I'll break your achey-breaky face.

I Feel Filthy.

2009-02-10T14:08:00.002+03:00

It's incredibly windy today.Let's go through the equation:Wind + sand/dirt + MORE WIND + Contacts x my refusal to wear glasses = WHAT THE HELL, PULL OUT MY EYEBALLZ PUUUHLEEEEASE.Ahem.Also, my face has a nice layer of sand over it... perhaps I'm lucky, because this is like Bare Minerals, Combat Edition. In the morning, I can just stick my head outside my CHU and voila! Airbrushed makeup.It's

Alone, But Not Lonely

2009-02-03T08:18:00.002+03:00

For those of you who know me personally, I think you'd agree that I'm an extrovert... Actually, on my Myers-Briggs test, I scored 100% in the extrovert column. But, here... I think I'm getting pushed to my extrovert limits.I'm with people all day at work... I walk home with someone (my lovely friend V, who I adore), and when I get home, I have a roommate.I'm just tired of people, to be frank.I'm

Aloha

2009-02-02T17:29:00.007+03:00

If you squint really hard... you might just think I'm in Waikiki, having a great time.But no... I'm just in Baghdad. Having not so great of a time.

Am I Smarter Than A Toothbrush?

2009-02-01T10:45:00.003+03:00

The answer is:.... No.This morning, I was in quite a frenzy before work... I got to the bathroom, only to realize that LO AND BEHOLD, I hadn't charged my electric toothbrush in a while, so (dun dun DUNNNN) during my second interval of 30 seconds... while I was brushing the bottom left side of my teeth... it went bzz..bzz.bzzz.poot.I panicked. I went searching for a old-fashioned, elbow

The Day I Created A National Incident

2009-01-27T16:02:00.003+03:00

OH MY GOD.I'm freaking out.I was telling a story about how my mom used to throw her shoe at me when she got mad... Annd, OF COURSE I have to get all "drama queen-ooh-ooh-look at ME!" and act it out...and OF COURSE I was wearing my crocs... so OF COURSE my shoe came off much easily than I expected... and OF COURSE my shoe FLEW OUT OF MY HAND AND HIT ERNIE IN THE FACE.Yes... Ladies and Gentlemen...

Bert and Ernie

2009-01-26T16:14:00.003+03:00

I work with two wonderful friends here. For all intensive purposes... they are Bert and Ernie. Honestly. I couldn't think of a better persona to fit for each of them.They are two crazy Iraqis, filled with curiosity and excitement for America. Bert has one son, and Ernie is a youngin', like me. Sometimes, you'll catch Bert saying the most ridiculously, funny, crass comment that will take you off

I Mean, I Like Lists...

2009-01-26T09:14:00.004+03:00

But this is ridiculous.Here, alot of people have white boards... you know, the dry erase boards. It's some weird, unspoken rule that you create of list of All The Important Stuff you do and write it on the white board. It only slightly, really annoys the hell out of me.Why do you need to write all your "duties" on your board? If you watch movies all day on your PC and don't list it as part of the

The Military Giveth And Military Taketh Away

2009-01-25T10:38:00.003+03:00

Or: Just Kidding, Suckers!According to a fellow deployed blogger, there will be no partaking of any beer substance. Due to the fact that the Air Force and Navy didn't sign the frago... so it's all or none. Blast. Meanwhile, I got a new! kick ass! sweet! backpack. Yeah, I'm throwing up the peace-signs. In case people weren't sure that I was Asian from the back, there is no confusion now.

Where The Beer Flows Like Honey

2009-01-24T18:24:00.002+03:00

Or.... Where You Can Have Two Beers And Oh My God, If You Act Stupid, We're Sending Your Ass HomeI like the latter.So we can drink! Two WHOLE beers. Wow. On Superbowl Night... which shows at 2:00am. Which I'm intrigued by the fact that... if I drink the beers right before the game ends (say... around 5 or 6am?) I will be coming to work within an hour of "drinking".I'm also wondering why we are

2 Months

2009-01-23T13:44:00.003+03:00

I've been here two months, to the day.It only feels like I've been here for ten minutes...If in those ten minutes I was held under water, with someone holding my head down as I thrash my arms wildly for air.Not that I'm being dramatic about it, or anything.

Raindrops On Roses And Whiskers On Kittens

2009-01-22T13:19:00.004+03:00

Here are a few of my new/old favorite beauty products. Because.. you care. I try to buy as many Made in the USA products as possible, and a few of these are great US products. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I'm not Oprah, and it is way to much of a hassle to get to the post office, so I won't be giving any of these freebies to any readers. Sorry. Tarte Cheek Stain - Tipsy This is a great blush.

Talking 'Bout My Generation

2009-01-20T22:00:00.000+03:00

I quite possibly am part of the stupidest generation in the history of America.Seriously? SERIOUSLY? If you are "inspired" and "taken by this moment in history" and you want something to "remember it by", seriously. There's a little thing called....Ti. Vo. TiVo the damn Inauguration, but don't scratch Obama's face into your back.Idiots.

Sniff Sniff...

2009-01-20T16:05:00.005+03:00

"What is that?!""Oh my God, what's that smell???""Uuuugh!""Alright, who farted?"All those answers can be answered by one little answer:"Guys, it's Amy's food."That's right. My wonderful mother sent me ggakdugi kimchi. Delicious, spicy, sour ggakdugi kimchi. That has been fermenting in it's vacuum sealed pack for 6 days, via the Military Postal Service.And you know what? They can all kiss it,

가족

2009-01-20T09:18:00.004+03:00

I earnestly long for a big Korean family. A family to celebrate Chusok with, eat big dinners with, to sit on the floor and peel Asian pears with.Whenever I see pictures of big Korean family get togethers, my heart twinges a little bit. I’ve always wanted to be a part of something like that.Now, granted, my family on my father’s side is quite large. But I only email one of my uncles about twice a

Oh? I Have A Blog?

2009-01-17T17:43:00.002+03:00

My bad. I've been having a bad week... or month? Or maybe it was just a few hours... time just all mushes together here...But, my friend Jess, wrote an amazing, sweet, awesome, RADICAL blog...about...ME! And how we became friends, way back when. Read it... she's pretty awesome, and one of the. nicest. people. I. know. For real.Anyway... thank you, Jess. I love you too and am so glad we are

Helloooooo, Freaks.

2009-01-11T13:47:00.002+03:00

The more frequented google-searches that result in people reading my blog are:korean pussycatpicking wedgie picturesengerishkorean naked massageUm... I'm going to need to work on my wording, I think.

Thank You, Mama Nabi!

2009-01-11T07:49:00.004+03:00

I love MN and LN... The card said "Princess Amy". The first time I read her blog, I was like a giddy teenager, desperately wanting to be friends with the "cool girl". Her blog is so interesting, and her story is inspirational. Seriously, MN, I've said it before... but write a book already!Mama Nabi and Little Nabi sent me some delicious Korean goodies... of which only some are pictured...because

Please Don't Stop The Music

2009-01-08T18:36:00.007+03:00

(Warning: This post contains ridiculosity, c*ssing, The Crazy, and stereotypes. Oh, wait... that's basically every post. Nevermind.) Because I have selective ADD, it's extremely important that I have some good workout music to listen to whist pumping the iron. And so, I'll share: Another One Bites The Dust - Queen Back In Black - ACDC Case Of The Ex - Mya Crawling - Linkin Park Crazy Bitch -

Nah Halmoni

2009-01-05T18:53:00.005+03:00

My grandmother. A recent post on Kimchi Mamas got me thinking about my own halmoni.My maternal grandmother was quite a mysterious lady. And a tough lady. I remembered visiting her in 1998, and she lived on the. very. top. of. a. hill. This lady would truck up and down this hill with bags full of pears, subak (watermelon), and other fresh goodies that we ate in the morning.(With that, when she

More Cravings

2009-01-04T10:32:00.002+03:00

I'm torturing myself, reading blogs like Krajee Bento Mom and Just Bento, drooling over rice with furikake (seaweed rice seasonings), shoyu tamago (soy sauce boiled eggs), chicken karage (chicken with a sweet and sour sauce), galbi (korean barbequed short ribs, inari sushi (sweet wrapped rice), soba noodles (buckwheat noodles ... i think, with soba sauce).Stomach is rumbling.Welp, I guess I'll

Another Mom Story

2009-01-04T08:13:00.004+03:00

A conversation with my mom a few months back:Mom: I am going to get implants!Me: (incredulous at my ultra-conservative mother) WHAT?Mom: Yes! I am getting implants this week.Me: WHAT?? Did Dad say okay? He agrees to this??Mom: Oh, yeah. He will drive me there.Me: Mom, I just can't believe this.Mom: Oh, yeah, everybody get it here. Is so cheap here.Me: Yeah, well my friend just got them, and she

Kimbap Cheongook

2009-01-03T17:58:00.005+03:00

Means: Kimbap Heaven. A cute little fast-foodish restaurant in Korea where you can get kimbaps for 1,000won. I wish I was there. I'm having a rather intense craving for kimbaps lately, so I thought I'd post a foodie-type blog. These are kimbaps I made before I left for Iraq. The ingredients are the traditional ones that my Korean Mom used... so obviously they are the best and ONLY types of

Note To Self:

2009-01-03T11:40:00.004+03:00

When leaving the Chowhall, it is best NOT to walk with a toothpick hanging out your mouth like you're John Wayne. Why? Because... oh, you just might hear a door slam and, ohhh, you might think it's a car-bomb, and ohhhh, you might get startled and inhale, choking on said toothpick. And you might start hacking on that wittle impaled object in your throat. And you miiiight do this right in front of

Seedy Goodness

2008-12-31T09:12:00.005+03:00

Here is the evidence: Of the cookies I just polished off. But, in all fairness, it was over the course of 2 days. So at 34 calories a cookie, I guess it's not that bad... right...RIGHT?This? From Trader Joes? SO GOOD. Seedy Little Currant Cookies. So good. SO GOOD. With tea, with wter, with Diet Pepsi, with nothing. So good. Go get some today. Also, not surprisingly, I got every question on

What Day Is It? Or Better Yet... Who Cares?

2008-12-27T18:29:00.004+03:00

I’m kind of bored with blogging… here. Every day is a Monday; it’s Ground Hog Day here.I have nothing to talk about…I wake up early and take a shower in a sewage smelling bathroom, trying desperately to not touch anything. Brush teeth with bottled water.I dry off in my room, and powder myself with Gold Bond powder, because OH MY GOSH, Lord help me if I get a fungal infection here.I walk about 12

Arabic Lesson #1

2008-12-26T13:38:00.002+03:00

Habibi: Honey, SweetieAmira: PrincessSalam: PeaceEl salamu-alekum: Good MorningShu-khran: Thank youAf-wan: You're welcomeShit zak-nabit: What the heck did you eat??Di jaaj: ChickenIn chab: Shut up.Ri hee tek: You smell like...As you can tell... my conversations with the Iraqis here are very intellectual.

Merry Christmas...Again.

2008-12-25T16:46:00.002+03:00

It just doesn't feel like Christmas.But it's still Jesus' birthday, whether or not there is snow on the ground, or logs burning in the fireplace.So, Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Merry Christmas...

2008-12-24T09:41:00.001+03:00

I'll be home for Christmas;You can count on me.Please have snow and mistletoeAnd presents on the tree.Christmas Eve will find meWhere the love-light gleams.I'll be home for ChristmasIf only in my dreams. Merry Christmas (Eve), everybody. I’ll be “home” for Christmas… the old saying, “Home is where your heart is” has never rang more true for this wandering nomad. And my heart is with every one of

On Which I Use All The Bandwidth

2008-12-22T10:44:00.001+03:00

Having A Merry Little ChristmasWe used shredded paper for snow!Where I am for the majority of the dayCall me by my rank, Bitch. (This has caused great strife from the COL's here. Yeah, PLURAL.)People call my desk "Little Korea". What?Sand bags everywhere... very easy to get lostFree Water! Everywhere!An Oasis when you hear "INCOMING, INCOMING"Beautiful BaghdadThank you, Jooliyah! She sent me a

Dr. Amy, Medicine Woman

2008-12-20T10:52:00.003+03:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is:When people are dumb. Specifically when they don’t understand what prescriptions they’ve gotten from the doctor’s office. Or when they say that they got a prescription for Naproxen or Ibuprofen 800. Because it’s stronger than the over the counter stuff. (No, dummy. You are just taking one 800mg pill, rather than four 200mg pills.)If you tell me that? I’ll roll my

Embarrassing Event #548281

2008-12-19T08:47:00.004+03:00

Self: Don’t you dare tell them about this. Don’t even think about it. Me: What? WHY? It’s funny. Self: No. It’s “so funny that she’s that dumb and awkward, but OMG, I’m not reading her posts anymore because her blog has taken a horrible turn for DISgusting." Me: Naw. Really? But… it’s… err... funny...kinda...right? Self: Fine. Go ahead. Tell them. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. SO. Last night, I

AHHHHH

2008-12-18T15:22:00.002+03:00

I just hole punched my 245 page document... on. the. wrong. side.There's a lady at work who's sick. And licks. her. finger. when. she. turns. pages. of. paper.This is why I was printing out a NEW document. So. I'd. be. microbe. free.I'm. going. to. lose. my. shit.

On Which My Middle Name Is Grinch

2008-12-17T19:53:00.003+03:00

WHAT? It’s Christmas in like…UM… A WEEK?When? How? Where?Christmas.Am I allowed to be a Grinch this Christmas?Because if I’m forced to participate in one more “mandatory fun” time here, and make one. more. damn. crepe paper chain, I will come here at night and snip all the ornaments off the tree.I really will.That is all.Oh. No, it’s not. One more thing. For the “Secret Santa” exchange… my happy

Yellow On Yellow Discrimination

2008-12-15T13:29:00.002+03:00

I’m a hypocrite.There was is a guy here who is ¼ Japanese. My immediate thought in my mind? “He’s not REALLY Japanese. I mean, he’s WHITE. He’s AMERICAN. He’s not one of US.”What?!You can punch me in my face now.I never thought I’d find myself being hypocritical like that. I get so mad at Korean 1.0’s because they sometimes make me feel like I am “less” Korean than them. And in turn, less of a

Me. Ow.

2008-12-12T08:07:00.000+03:00

I love rules. I love regulations. I love policies. LOVE.I love that there are written statutes in place that I can point. at. and shove. in. your. face. When you try and tell me that I can or cannot do something.However, when I read:“Prohibited Activities: In addition to and in accordance with CENTCOM GO1B, the following activities are prohibited:….k. Adopting of pets as mascots, caring for, or

East Coast Dreamin'

2008-12-11T13:21:00.003+03:00

Like a wave, homesickness has rushed over me. I’m not really one to normally get home sick… well… because I have no home. I’ve talked before about this, but ever since I left my parents’ home, I’ve been sort of a nomad. I dream of the day that I’ll have a home, all to myself, with a little garden and a little porch. That will be mine, mine to call home. Not rented, not borrowed, not transient.But

A Toby Keith-esque Post

2008-12-09T19:29:00.006+03:00

This could quite possibly be a PMS rant.But? I’m posting it anyway.People just don’t get it. They don’t understand what I do, or why I’m here. Maybe I don’t know either. But I do know that I volunteered to come here. I do know that I volunteered to come before the holidays. I know that I might not get to visit my family in Korea the whole time I’m here. I know what it’s like to be in the military

FULL Body Massage

2008-12-08T18:33:00.002+03:00

Or, "On Which “Full Body Massage” Has A Different Meaning"Or, Or, "Thank God Asian Women Are Small"Or, Or, OR, "Wait A Minute, I’m Not That Small…WTF?"Yesterday after work, I went to the Filipino Massage place near our FOB. (Okay, okay, get out all your crude jokes out in the open… are you done? Okay, pressing on…)And when they told me it was a “Deep full body stress relief massage” I thought

CAPS LOCK, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

2008-12-07T09:20:00.007+03:00

CAP CAP CAP CAP CAPS LOCK. CAP. LOCK.I may have found energy drinks (left under MY DESK by some one that JUST LEFT. THANK THE LORD FOR YOU.) that CAUSE me to SPORATICALLY caps LOCK because it gives ME GREAT satisFACTION! When you WORK SEVEN DAYS A WEEK and your HALF day is working 6-7 HOURS, you have to rely on COUNTERFEIT energy, via the form of this DRINK that was banned from SCHOOLS because of

Glutton, Am I

2008-12-06T12:14:00.001+03:00

I just ate a whole container of hummus, and a whole container of tabouleh. Both freshly made from the Iraqi restaurant on a different post. And the fresh flat bread! Dr. Atkins would die of just looking at the carb-overload. I'm disgusting. But! The hummus? The tabbouleh? SO. FREAKING. GOOD. Flexible Dreams and Ella Bella, I know you love it... but it tastes PHENOMENALLY different here. Be

I Got A Pocket Full Of Sunshine

2008-12-05T07:41:00.001+03:00

There are alot of places in the IZ that you can't bring backpacks or bags.(For security purposes, or to dissuade members from stealing food from the Chow Hall. SHUT UP, I'M ASIAN, AND THE PEARS ARE FREE.) This causes immense turmoil in my life. So I've resulted to carrying everything in my pockets. I have a light fleece jacket with two pockets, and my pant pockets, ofcourse. Let's empty them

Mascara

2008-12-04T12:15:00.001+03:00

(Warning: This post will be quite, quite, QUITE boring for my male readers. Yes, all two of you. Sorry, dudes.) Remember… a long time ago when I said that I was going to post a mascara review? No? You forgot? Welp, so did I. Splishlash contacted me to try their mascara and write a review. Being the Asian consumer that I am, I said, “OH MY GOSH, YES! DUDE! You read my blog? That’s so

Heroes

2008-12-02T13:46:00.000+03:00

There are heroes here. True heroes. Heroes that aren’t our soldiers. From the lady in her head cover that comes and mops the floor, the guys to take out the trash, the interpreters, or the administrative people… they are heroes. Light has been shed on an issue here that I as an American never knew existed. I, the American who reads CNN and keeps The Drudge Report on my desktop all day long.

Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead

2008-12-02T08:21:00.001+03:00

Which old witch? THE WICKED WITCH! If it weren’t for General Order No.1, we’d be crackin’ open a beer for you, and I’d be having a Vodka/Soda/Splash of Cranberry juice with a lime (Try get that through to a bartender with music booming in the background and 8 people shoving to get in line. “VODKA SOOOODA. SPLASH of Cran. CRAN! CRANBERRY JUICE! Wait, I NEED A LIME. No, not ‘wait in line’. I NEED

And Now, We Rewind to Genesis

2008-11-30T15:44:00.000+03:00

Seriously. Ridiculous. Allah is not happy about the SOFA agreement, apparently.

Exodus

2008-11-30T09:24:00.001+03:00

Is God trying to tell us something by sending this much hail to Baghdad? Because, really... it was a bit ridiculous. And then it rained...and rained. Creating a quite literal river in front of our office. Which I walked through. And now? I'm thankful that Zappos deliver to APO addresses. Because my Dansko's died via drowning. These are date trees. What's really fun is when the dates fall on you

On Which The Pants Were Peed

2008-11-29T09:35:00.000+03:00

Last night, I thought to myself, “Self, you should really back a bug out bag, in case something happens. That way, you can have a bag of stuff ready that you can grab in case there is an incoming attack.” This morning, when I heard, “INCOMING INCOMING INCOMING. DING DING DING. INCOMING INCOMING INCOMING.” I thought, “Self, you? Are a dumb ass.” I have to run out my room a short way to get to